6/07/24

Feast of the Sacred Heart (Purification of the Clergy)

1:08 am

Here is the good news:

WE ARE ALL GOING TO DIE.

The last movie that played in our theatre was Titanic.  We are on that sinking ship.  Life is not a series of victories that leads to the final triumph over death.  How can we lower ourselves?  My friends all love coffee and noise.  I do not blame them for this.  I don’t want to burst anyone’s bubble.  I took a course in helping people pass, I’m a “certified death doula”.  Now I’m almost a pastor.  What the heck does that all mean.  I’m here to help you die.  Jesus said if you die before you die you are given eternal life.  It’s really complex sometimes.  We’re deep in the density of Jungian psychology, projection, shadow…. The mind is a labyrinth.  The labyrinth is in the garden of nature.  Death is nature’s way. You are not going to escape the labyrinth.  You are going to die in here.  So relax.  Stop running and looking for a way out.  Notice how beautiful the shrubbery is, there’s even flowers in the wall of your enclosure.  The fragrance is impossibly sweet.  Your position is determined entirely by your perspective.  If you choose death it no longer becomes a consequence.  But what about the wages of sin.  Let’s break that sentence down.  Sin is separateness, hamartano (not a part).  It was never about morals.  It’s our internal condition, our lack of understanding that nothing in this universe happens except for the beautiful unfolding of G*d.  And wages?  Wages are a payment.  The inevitable reward of living through the realm of separation is a return to unity. 

Life is the oscillation toward silence, and in death we return to union.  Perhaps for only a while.  I read somewhere that 25% of Christians believe in (or entertain some form of) reincarnation.  I personally dig the idea, I’ve read a handful of heady Buddhist books about the subject but most of my understanding comes from a novel called Reincarnation Blues.  We can’t really get to the heart of the matter with certainty.  Creativity is our access point to the Devine.  A humble act of rebellion against time’s constant ticking….to make things.  It is late, I am losing lately….sleep and confidence but finding that every time I accept what I lack G*d sends someone to help.  What would it look like to thrive for now?  I am used to struggling.  We are all determined to struggle to survive.  Die now, it’s ok.  Let your death seep all the way in.  Your heart may beat a little faster for a moment. It’s ok to be afraid.  We just keep practicing meeting the end of ourselves with a smile.  Humor is maybe the highest spiritual quality.  True, self-emptying belly laughs that emerge from the deep knowing in the gut….nothing lasts. Jesus did’t ask us to worship him, he asked us to follow him.  The path leads to only one place.  Accept suffering, without masochism, or martyrdom, choose to lift no finger in your defense.  Jesus was a mystical poet and a loving healer.  He ushered in a paradigm shift.  A change in consciousness.  METANOIA: GO BEYOND THE MIND.

The mind is so lovely and tricky.  We teach it so many strange ways to help us survive.  It’s endearing.  Your neurosis are cute.  Be nice to your neurosis.  Notice the language, and the tone you are using with yourself.  Tone is the tricky part.  We know the language of mental health, but it’s not just the notes it’s the rhythm.  If you were really being compassionate to yourself, you’d feel really good.  If you don’t feel really good, and you are ready to stop pointing the finger at society, your parents, etc….. we lift our hands in surrender. Hallelujah is the most universally translated word.  Praise the ONE.  Surrender to G*d, give up the need to understand.  Whatever it is you think I think is the G*d I’m trying to sell you, zoom out from that too. I don’t know.  I can’t know.  I have caught a glimpse of the hem of her robe.   It’s useless for me to describe what G*d is, I can only tell you how the more I try to look for it, the more my soul grows quiet and peaceful.  The more I practice loving in the way I wish G*d would love us, the more I realize that we’ve been given the keys to the kingdom.  It is us who builds the new world.  Or better yet, we relax into the reality that it’s already HERE.

Buenos noches amor. May we meet each other out beyond right and wrong.  May our minds become clear and calm.  May our hearts burn until we are all flame.

CK

P.S. A week from today is my ordination!!! I am at peace about it, admittedly nervous. <3 Prayers and well wishes or any last ditch efforts to talk me out of it are all appreciated!!!!